📈 My Crypto Strategy: A Tragedy in Three Acts Act I: The Research I spent 45 minutes reading a whitepaper about a coin named after a flightless bird. The technology is "revolutionary." It’s basically the internet, but with more steps. I am a genius. Act II: The Buy I wait for the "dip." It drops 2%. I go ALL IN. Immediately, the chart looks like a professional skier going down K2. My portfolio is now bleeding redder than a Valentine’s Day card. Act III: The Coping Me: "It’s not a loss if I don’t sell!" My Bank Account: "Please... the rent was due yesterday." My Reflection: "I’m not a trader anymore. I’m a long-term investor." (This is crypto-speak for 'I am stuck until 2030'). 💡 Current Market Mood: Bitcoin: Dropped to $60,000 and people are acting like the apocalypse is here. Ethereum: Gas fees are so high I tried to send $20 and the network asked for my firstborn and a kidney as a transaction fee. Meme Coins: A coin with a picture of a cat in a hat just did 500% while my "utility tokens" are sitting there doing nothing like a TV remote with dead batteries. Status Update: My ROI stands for "Really Outrageous Impulse." 🤡 The Reality Check They say crypto ages you. I’m 25, but my portfolio says I’ve survived three world wars, two Great Depressions, and the invention of fire. Pro Tip : If the chart turns red, just turn your phone upside down. Now it’s a bull market! Follow me for more financial "advice" that will definitely get us both audited. 🚀📉 #DiamondHandsOrNoHands #ToTheMoonEventually #WenLambo #MemeCoinMillionaire (In My Dreams) #InItForTheTech (I’m Lying) $DUSK $BNB $XRP
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