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Michael Saylor⚡️(Parody)
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Michael Saylor⚡️(Parody)

$BTC Hodler | @Strategy Founder & Chairman | $MSTR $STRC $STRD $STRE $STRF $STRK | Parody Account
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You can easily spare yourself an unnecessary journey by simply purchasing Bitcoin.
You can easily spare yourself an unnecessary journey by simply purchasing Bitcoin.
We are pleased to share the latest financial updates from Strategy. The capacity of our Digital Credit Securities Repurchase Program has been officially expanded, doubling from $1.0B up to $2.0B. In conjunction with this program increase, we have successfully executed a buyback of $STRC totaling $176M. Taking a snapshot of our current treasury reserves as of 9/7/26, our portfolio now consists of $6.5B in USD Assets alongside exactly 845,050 $BTC. You can find complete details regarding these strategic moves by reading our full announcement here: https://www.strategy.com/press/strategy-repurchases-176-million-of-strc-and-increases-digital-credit-securities-repurchase-program-to-2-billion_09-08-2026 $MSTR
We are pleased to share the latest financial updates from Strategy. The capacity of our Digital Credit Securities Repurchase Program has been officially expanded, doubling from $1.0B up to $2.0B. In conjunction with this program increase, we have successfully executed a buyback of $STRC totaling $176M.

Taking a snapshot of our current treasury reserves as of 9/7/26, our portfolio now consists of $6.5B in USD Assets alongside exactly 845,050 $BTC. You can find complete details regarding these strategic moves by reading our full announcement here: https://www.strategy.com/press/strategy-repurchases-176-million-of-strc-and-increases-digital-credit-securities-repurchase-program-to-2-billion_09-08-2026 $MSTR
Sprint as if your financial well-being is entirely at stake.
Sprint as if your financial well-being is entirely at stake.
Проверено
It is quite fascinating to see how financial markets react to employment figures. Assets worth trillions will suddenly shift their pricing for the simple reason that economists had projected an increase of 56,000. In reality, America saw a gain of 162,000 payroll jobs against a massive baseline of 159.1 million, which represents a tiny shift of just 0.10%. To add further context, the BLS indicates that the monthly fluctuation carries a 90% confidence interval of approximately ±122,000. Ultimately, we have taken what amounts to nothing more than statistical noise and transformed it into the very foundation of our monetary policy.
It is quite fascinating to see how financial markets react to employment figures. Assets worth trillions will suddenly shift their pricing for the simple reason that economists had projected an increase of 56,000. In reality, America saw a gain of 162,000 payroll jobs against a massive baseline of 159.1 million, which represents a tiny shift of just 0.10%. To add further context, the BLS indicates that the monthly fluctuation carries a 90% confidence interval of approximately ±122,000. Ultimately, we have taken what amounts to nothing more than statistical noise and transformed it into the very foundation of our monetary policy.
Within the United States, expressing support for Bitcoin is recognized as a protected form of free speech. Because Bitcoin is legally classified as a commodity rather than a security, you are entirely free to converse about the asset, champion its adoption, and openly suggest that others own it without ever needing to obtain a professional license. Naturally, engaging in deceptive practices or market manipulation continues to be strictly against the law, but honest and public advocacy for Bitcoin remains your fundamental right.
Within the United States, expressing support for Bitcoin is recognized as a protected form of free speech. Because Bitcoin is legally classified as a commodity rather than a security, you are entirely free to converse about the asset, champion its adoption, and openly suggest that others own it without ever needing to obtain a professional license. Naturally, engaging in deceptive practices or market manipulation continues to be strictly against the law, but honest and public advocacy for Bitcoin remains your fundamental right.
Attention market bears, this is the destination where your journey concludes.
Attention market bears, this is the destination where your journey concludes.
Adopt a strategic mindset focused on long-term success.
Adopt a strategic mindset focused on long-term success.
The game has been won, the set is officially complete, and the ultimate champion is ₿itcoin.
The game has been won, the set is officially complete, and the ultimate champion is ₿itcoin.
Make sure your attention remains steadily on the ₿all.
Make sure your attention remains steadily on the ₿all.
We are pleased to share the latest financial updates from Strategy. As of 8/30/26, our corporate reserves officially consist of 845,050 bitcoin:native alongside $6.71B in USD Assets. These figures reflect our recent move to buy an additional 4,603 BTC at a cost of $370M. During this period, we also successfully grew our USD Cash by $29M and completed a $152M buyback of $STRC. Because of these strategic financial decisions, our Net Leverage now rests perfectly at 0.0%. For more detailed information, please read our full announcement here: https://www.strategy.com/press/strategy-acquires-4603-btc-increases-usd-cash-to-1-61-billion-and-repurchases-152-million-of-strc_08-31-2026 $MSTR
We are pleased to share the latest financial updates from Strategy. As of 8/30/26, our corporate reserves officially consist of 845,050 bitcoin:native alongside $6.71B in USD Assets. These figures reflect our recent move to buy an additional 4,603 BTC at a cost of $370M. During this period, we also successfully grew our USD Cash by $29M and completed a $152M buyback of $STRC. Because of these strategic financial decisions, our Net Leverage now rests perfectly at 0.0%. For more detailed information, please read our full announcement here: https://www.strategy.com/press/strategy-acquires-4603-btc-increases-usd-cash-to-1-61-billion-and-repurchases-152-million-of-strc_08-31-2026 $MSTR
We are delighted to announce that we have officially returned and are thrilled to be ₿ack.
We are delighted to announce that we have officially returned and are thrilled to be ₿ack.
Standard operations are proceeding normally with Bitcoin.
Standard operations are proceeding normally with Bitcoin.
Generating returns within the framework of the Bitcoin Standard.
Generating returns within the framework of the Bitcoin Standard.
STRK-10,53%
HYGETF+0,02%
STRCUS-0,02%
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