韭菜要自我修养

I've really been exhausted lately. Let me respond to the questions everyone wants to know. Yes, I'm the fake frog; I'm just imitating him. I was one of the first batch of fans who knew him before he became popular. At first, I was deeply moved by his experiences. Later, I watched him become successful step by step. Actually, I didn't want to enter the black-red imitation path. Originally, after losing $1500 in the crypto space, I uninstalled and quit. I entered the crypto space at the beginning of 2025 through a friend's introduction. I had this idea from the start because I had lost $300 in a PG at the end of 2024. At that time, I had no money, and it was my girlfriend who used her grandfather's money to support me. I'm very grateful to her and have always wanted to find a way to repay her. Later, my friend said that the crypto space was a bit more reliable and that small investments were fine, so I listened to him. Initially, I only used 5u or 10u contracts with leverage to play with mainstream coins, experiencing both losses and gains until I came across event contracts, which marked the beginning of my massive losses. This is because it can be very addictive; I couldn't help but recharge whenever I had a bit of spare cash. Since it was the New Year and I had also taken her back to visit relatives, I received quite a bit of cash gifts, estimating about 7/8k, which I ended up throwing all in. You all know how addictive event contracts can be, especially since I tend to be impulsive. At that time, I had achieved the highest profit of 800u, and I was overjoyed. I was already preparing to order a 16 Pro phone to give to her as a surprise. Unfortunately, I ended up losing everything. So I refunded and went back in, still losing. The more I played, the bigger the stakes became. It only took three days to go from a profit of 800u to a loss of 1500u. That day, my total sleep was less than 10 hours because I stayed up late watching the market, not wanting to miss any market movements. Plus, I was on the side of the market with my trades; I remember that the market makers were constantly selling off, and I mindlessly tried to catch the bottom, continuously failing. Even now, I still maintain this habit. I can still profit in a volatile market, but when it comes to a directional trend, I start with a 10-game losing streak. This is how I suffered my losses. At that time, since I had made a bit of money, I took her to Xiangyang for a trip. We had planned a lot of delicious food and tourist spots, but we spent several days in the hotel. I kept making excuses like I wasn't feeling well to avoid going out. She initially didn't think much of it until one night she heard me wailing and coughing up blood. I got so angry that I smashed my phone, and then she knew I must have been gambling. Because I had a record, she quickly realized what was happening. Since we were in the hotel, I really wanted to jump out of the window to end it all. Later, she kept holding me back. The next day, I went out early and found an empty place to secretly open a JD BaiTiao account to withdraw cash, as I had discovered I had a 7k credit limit. I didn't know how it happened; maybe it was set up using my parents' information. I later cashed it all out, but unfortunately, I lost it all. The next day was also the last day of our trip. I was going crazy in the hotel, and my family was comforting me, but it was all threatening comfort. Only she kept advising me, saying she would help me pay it back, and I shouldn't touch that anymore. Since I was still studying, I wanted to ask my advisor if I could get a refund for my tuition and drop out because I was in a college that I felt was satisfactory for my future. In the end, it didn't work out, and she ended up paying it back for me. Initially, I didn't want to accept her help because I wanted to shoulder the burden myself. I thought the worst that could happen was going to jail, and I didn't want her to help me anymore because I wanted to preserve the last bit of my pride as a man. In the end, she firmly insisted on helping me fill this hole, and I promised her I wouldn't touch it again. At that time, I had only lost around 1100u. Later, I secretly used about 2k of my parents' living expenses to invest again. I didn't think I would recover all my losses, just a portion, because I felt this hole was too big. Then I again got addicted and put everything in, losing 1500u, which was completely hopeless. I was in class at that time, and I directly ran out to find a phone store because I had bought a Redmi K80, which could still be worth 1500 at that time. Since I had lost money, I smashed my phone and could only get 1k for it. I said it was okay, and since I didn't have a phone, the store owner asked who to transfer the money to, and I had her transfer it to my girlfriend's phone number. Later, my girlfriend asked where this money came from, since it was a stranger's remittance. I had asked the phone store owner to keep it a secret. Later, my girlfriend found the phone store owner through contact information and insisted on getting the real situation out. She found out that I had gotten involved again because I didn't have a phone and she couldn't reach me, so she got anxious and called the police. Then she contacted teachers and classmates at school to find me. At that time, there was a school-wide announcement, and I was found by a river nearby. Later, she helped me redeem my phone back for 1k1. After this, I completely lost faith in this! So I really promised to uninstall it and no longer fantasize about being able to recover my losses. I treated that money as if it had really disappeared! This was the second time she helped me. The third time was when I was working at a water park and my phone fell into the water. I was very desperate again, and she secretly bought me this phone that I am still using now. Later, it was the third-year internship. Since our majors were different, she was assigned to an internship in a place in Zhejiang, while I was interning in Hubei. Because I was alone, I got impulsive again and secretly downloaded it back. This time I was smarter, learning short-term trading from streamers, but still lost around 500u because I was still thinking about recovering a bit. The market is unforgiving! That's just how I am! Later, seeing Frog Brother become popular, I thought about imitating him for my own success, so I tried to imitate him everywhere. I ended up getting blocked by him and then brought back, giving me another chance. He knew I had realized my mistakes and didn't hold it against me. I post so much content every day and have had a few posts hit the top of the rankings. So I fantasized about becoming an entertainment blogger and aimed to get 1k followers to become a counter-trader. Since my win rate for trades is very low, I thought you could open opposite trades, and if you made a bit of profit, you could give me a 1u tip. If I had 4u a day, I could keep my living expenses. Then I started doing delivery jobs where I could earn around 100 a day. I decided to quit contracts and no longer think about getting rich quickly, focusing instead on repaying her debts. Since she was promoted by her manager during her internship in Zhejiang, I decided to break up with her to not hinder her bright future. She is quite tall at 170 cm, and I'm 172 cm, so I'm slightly taller than her. She's also very beautiful and lovely, and everyone likes her. I felt I didn't want to delay her from getting married. Of course, I can't possibly not repay her what I owe. I'm thinking of repaying her double, but trading is impossible. You all know my skill level; even Trump’s market manipulation can't save me! So I thought about starting a stream to gain some traffic and earn a bit of U to repay her as soon as possible. This is the reason why I go around seeking traffic every day. I hope everyone can be lenient with me. You can criticize me; I don't care. I'm just a bad person, but I hope you treat my ex-girlfriend kindly. She is truly a wonderful woman. Right now, I just want to repay her kindness. Besides that, I have no other desires in life. I'm a severe depression patient and currently only want to help her have a slightly better life, even if I fall into the abyss myself, it doesn't matter!