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I really have no way out. It’s all me digging my own grave. I got into people’s circles and touched this stuff without really understanding anything. I was unlucky and lost a few thousand, then I started doing contracts and NFTs—Ethereum memes. Later I borrowed money from online loans and owed over a hundred thousand. I never made a single cent and I still didn’t stop. Every time I got lucky and things went up a bit, I made a little, then it controlled me—I’d get excited and feel happy, and then I’d go all the way from profit to loss, and I couldn’t sleep all night. When I finally told my family, they helped me repay some of it. But because I confessed, yet didn’t fully tell the whole truth, I still owed tens of thousands that weren’t paid back. Then I borrowed more online loans and kept trading. Around late the year before last into last year—during the Sol 吉祥物 wave—I made some tens of thousands. Then I paid back part of the money I owed to friends nearby, and I even took initiative to help pay back my ex-girlfriend’s money, about ten to twenty thousand. After that I went on a couple of trips and felt like I was doing fine. At that point, the online loans were already overdue too, and I basically just gave up. I thought, ‘Let’s do one big one,’—get another huge loan to clear everything, and I also fantasized about making money to buy a house and a car. When I had some money, I first paid back what I owed to friends nearby. Really—total gambler mentality.
Later, around the end of last year, there was that Sol wave with the amputee monkey and Lucky Cat, and I bought on the limit order within $100–ish at a time when the internal market cap was maybe up to $1.6 million. My highest profit hit about $20,000. After I sold and actually had it in hand, I made around $10,000, and I thought, ‘Maybe this time I really can.’ Then I started doing contracts again and got liquidated—lost another $20,000–$30,000. Then I went to buy some other cheap dog coins. I don’t have my own trading system—same old pattern: when I make money I get happy, I get inflated. I kept thinking I could eat a big meal in one bite, but in the end I lost everything.
At that time Trump came around, but I didn’t have money. I saw it for a few dollars and later bought it; still no money. Then that Tesla rocket 吉祥物—also no money to go in. Basically, it went on like that: every month I got paid and traded with whatever I had. If I was lucky, I’d make a bit. Last year I fell off my bike and fractured my leg, then I was laid up at home for a month. I bought ANI for $30,000 when it was around $50, then sold it and got $10 million? (Just over $10 million in value—actually I made about $1,000.) I didn’t make a judgment call properly. The same day I bought other things and lost it all.
Anyway, even if I made money, in the end I couldn’t hold on. It would always turn into losses again. This year at the beginning, I bought GAS for about $300—market cap around $30,000—and then gradually sold. My highest profit was around $20,000. I was thinking, ‘Let me just make around $30,000 and that’ll be enough.’ I was always too greedy. In the end I made about $8,000. That night, alone, I opened an internet gaming hotel, drank some alcohol, got carried away. I didn’t analyze or judge—I just bought randomly. I bought a token that didn’t have a pool, and a bunch of coins—lost everything that day. A few days later, I spent about $300 again to buy the Sol meme—the White House post. It hit a maximum profit of $10,000, and this time I thought $20,000 would be enough. Hahaha. Every time I think like that—once I think it through, the inevitable result is that I lose everything again.
Later, during the Spring Festival, I didn’t get any extra money, and I didn’t go back to my hometown to celebrate. When I got my Spring Festival salary—about 3,000 RMB—I put it all into trading. I actually made profits of about $3,000. At that time I thought, ‘Just earn 30,000 RMB and it’ll be fine.’ I used the money to pay back debts and also took my ex-girlfriend on a trip. Every time I overthink and don’t communicate with the people around me, the end result is that I end up with nothing. If I ever make money, it will always go right back into losses because it’s all because of my greed.