I only realized this after suffering losses in interpersonal relationships!

1. I discovered one thing: if a person cares more about what others think and has a sensitive and thoughtful personality, a very common behavior when communicating with others is: "likes to explain."

Whether you are communicating with a stranger or a familiar friend, no matter what the issue is, you usually explain your decision or experience in detail: "Why did I do this?", "What happened at that time?", "I thought this way."

The urgent intention behind this is to let the other party understand: "Don't misunderstand me, I am not that kind of person!"

2. If you are the kind of person I just described, think carefully about whether I was right?

In fact, most of the events for which you describe the ins and outs, causes and consequences are your own business. You don't need to explain to others. It is your right to make any decision you want. Others have no right to interfere and no position to judge you.

But every time you explain to others in an uncertain and slightly anxious tone, you are subconsciously seeking the other person's understanding and approval, expecting the other person to know that it is okay, reasonable, and correct for you to do so.

You feel guilty, afraid that the other party will misunderstand you or have some opinion of you, but let's take a look at what you have actually done?

You hand over certain rights to the other party and put yourself in a passive position. When you speak, you lose your firmness and confidence.

3. According to my observation, people who give people a confident aura basically don’t explain themselves too much. You can also think about whether the people you meet in your daily life are like what I said?

Whether it is speculation or misunderstanding, it is not important. Whether you are dealing with strangers, friends, or family, when you are eager to explain the details, remember to ask yourself "Am I explaining it?" and "Do I need to explain this to others?"

Reducing unnecessary explanations and realizing that you are only responsible for yourself in some things is an important step to becoming more confident and strong. Moreover, when you no longer have so many explanations when communicating with others, you will gradually give people the impression of being a confident, calm, and generous person.

4. Let’s talk about another phenomenon: “liking to explain”. Earlier we talked about being eager to explain to others, and next we will talk about being obsessed with explaining to oneself.

Specifically, when you are getting along with others, if you feel uncomfortable or not treated sincerely, you must find sufficient evidence to prove that it is indeed the other party's fault, and that there is something wrong with their words and actions, before you dare to make decisions such as staying away from them or breaking up with them.

You will analyze the situation over and over again, and make sure that you have almost no responsibility in the entire process. The "you" here is not shirking responsibility, nor is it selfishly thinking that it is all the other party's fault.

You are worried about the discomfort you may feel when getting along with others. Is it because of your own reasons? Are you too picky? Have you misunderstood the other person? Are you overthinking? Do you think too badly of others?

You spend a lot of time reflecting and analyzing. You are trying to prove something to yourself. You want to find a reasonable reason. You need to make sure that you are basically morally perfect and that you have done nothing wrong before you can leave this friend.

If you realize that there is something wrong with you, you will feel that you have lost the right to make demands on the other person.

5. Are you being too hard on yourself? Why do you have to be a person who doesn't care about others and is considerate? To use a concept that may not be so accurate, you require yourself to be a "perfect victim."

Your own feelings are the most important. Learn to believe in and respect your feelings. This is the biggest standard you should follow when getting along with others. If you feel offended, unhappy or uncomfortable, then you are offended. If you always stand on the other person's side to make excuses for it, such behavior should be moderate.

My family once told me: "Don't always try to understand the other person and think that they have to do this for some reason. If the result is unacceptable to us, we don't have to forgive them."

Of course, this is a more extreme situation, and the "result" here is the kind that is difficult to reconcile and resolve. There will definitely be some small frictions, small conflicts, and small shortcomings in daily interactions, and these are all within our tolerance space.

6. Some people are very good at self-reflection, and they will further think that it seems that others have no problem getting along with him? Doesn’t he have a lot of friends? It seems that it must be my problem!

The chemical reactions between every two people are different. This is not your problem. You don't have to stay with chemicals that don't suit you. Sometimes you are extremely disappointed in someone and decide not to continue the relationship, but when the other person shows a little kindness, you start to wonder if you were overthinking it before. That's not the case!

It is impossible for a person to be bad in all aspects. Most people's overall performance is above average. The slight good thing that you feel definitely exists, but in some situations, the relationship between people follows the theory of short boards. If you cannot accept the shortest board, you can leave.

7. In short, in daily life, consciously change your "like to explain" character, whether it is telling others why you did something, or proving to yourself the rationality of leaving an uncomfortable relationship.

For most of the decisions you make, you only need to be responsible for yourself, and you don’t need to get approval from others. Your own feelings are the most important. Learn to trust and respect your feelings. #一起来跟单 #注意资金安全 #美联储是否加息？ #带你看看币安Launchpad #BTC