Always wanted to change yourself but couldn't? Share two simple new ideas

We often attribute problems to our own reasons, such as lack of self-discipline and procrastination, but in fact this over-exaggerates the importance of personal willpower, overestimates the role of internal factors, and ignores the influence of the external environment.

1. "Transient: 9 Ways to Make Change Easier" mentions an interesting experiment. It is quite interesting that researchers from Cornell University's Food and Brand Research Laboratory distributed free food to every audience in the movie theater. Popcorn, these popcorn have been stored for 5 days, taste bad and unpalatable.

Some of the audience got medium buckets, and others got large buckets. After the movie, the researchers found that the audience with large buckets ate 53% more than those with medium buckets. In other words, the larger the food container, the more the audience ate.

The audience did not eat the popcorn continuously just because it tasted good (the popcorn was not fresh and was very chewy), nor did they feel compelled to finish the entire bucket (no matter what portion was served, the popcorn could never be finished). Whether the audience was hungry or full had no effect on the results of the experiment.

The conclusion never changes: "Bigger capacity = bigger appetite".

Does this scene sound familiar to you? When something is within your reach, even if you don’t like it that much, you will naturally immerse yourself in it as long as it is convenient enough.

2. It seems to be a people problem, but it is actually a situational problem. This may not sound new, but common sense is knowledge that is often overlooked and ignored by people.

To be honest, most of the time, for example, when we lack concentration, are lazy, or cannot control ourselves, we attribute the reasons to ourselves and rarely look for external reasons. This may seem to be demanding of ourselves and a good quality, but it actually leads us into misunderstandings.

Don't take yourself too seriously. Your self-control is not omnipotent. It can even be said to be fragile. If you want to lose weight, use a small bowl. If you want to study, don't dream of staying at home or in the dormitory. If you want to exercise, put yourself in a group. The latter is obviously easier than the former and will evoke less self-condemnation.

It seems to be a problem with the people, but in fact it is a problem with the situation; instead of controlling yourself, it is better to control the environment.

3. Let’s talk about the second idea. In the past 100 days, have you managed to get up late every day? Have you managed to stay up late every day? Have you managed to procrastinate and be lazy every day? Are you anxious 100*24 hours without any blind spots?

Unfortunately, the answer is most likely "no". There are always times when you do well, no matter how rare they are. This is the crux of the problem and the key to finding a breakthrough. We often fight with ourselves, trying to correct those behaviors and thinking patterns that seem to be less motivated.

We trace the root cause and fall into the trap of over-analysis, treating ourselves as a lesion, holding a microscope, and not letting go of any details, big or small, thinking about what went wrong? Why is it like this? Is there something wrong with me?

4. The usual thinking is that this incident shows that there is a "problem" in my life, and the way to solve the problem is to find out "why I failed". By overcoming these causes of failure, I can achieve my goal: "Become a person who goes to bed early and gets up early, keeps running, is focused, emotionally stable, confident, and good at socializing."

If we borrow the idea of ​​treating diseases, it would be: "treat the head when it hurts, treat the foot when it hurts, and treat the disease wherever it occurs." But in fact, curing the disease does not mean becoming a healthy person.

The Harvard University Open Course: Happiness Course says that the traditional model is "cure the disease and you will become healthy", while the positive psychology model is "you are sick because you are not healthy enough and because you do not pursue the things that make you healthy."

5. What is the difference between the two? One focuses on analyzing how to fail and how to avoid failure; the other focuses on learning how to succeed and how to replicate success.

We spend more time on the former, always going around in circles in traditional models, but those moments of success, those moments when you are full of enthusiasm and energy and in your ideal state are ignored.

Analyzing how to fail and avoiding it is only a small step in solving the problem. The more important step, which will produce a qualitative change, is to explore how to succeed and put it into practice.

6. You stay up late every day, but there are always a few days when you go to bed before 11pm; you always procrastinate and are unable to devote yourself to study, but you must have had a period of strong execution; you are habitually self-doubting and have no confidence, but you do feel comfortable and happy in certain scenes, in front of certain people, and in certain areas, and you truly feel your own value and recognize yourself very much.

This is the "highlight" you are looking for!

Think back to these moments, how did you do it, what were the external and internal conditions at that time? In fact, they are not accidental, you have done it before, which means you have the ability to continue to do it.

There are more important factors that make seeking bright spots effective. No matter how much you analyze problems and failures, you may not know what to do to make them work; when it comes to details, how to implement them? Principles are often universal, not specific.

But successful cases are different. They have been proven to be useful to you and are the best annotation of “teaching students in accordance with their aptitude”!