U.S. markets just closed, and tonight’s Google drama deserves its own segment.
A JPMorgan analyst gave the earnings report a name: “This stock has been frozen in Carbonite”—a nod to Han Solo being carbon-frozen in Star Wars. How bad was it? Search query volume hit a five-year high, yet revenue still missed expectations. AI has tanked the pricing of its own search ads—it’s disrupting itself. Shares fell 13% after hours, wiping out $500 billion in a quarter.
Even funnier, the CEO rushed out Gemini 4 Carbon during the trading day. This wasn’t a tech launch; it was CPR for the stock price.
Meanwhile, Microsoft beat across the board, Azure grew 48%, and shares rose after hours. Then it turned around and issued 10 tranches of dollar-denominated bonds— even the star student has to hit up the debt market to fund AI. That gives you an idea of just how powerful the money shredder is.
PCE came in at 3.6%, and CPI/PPI/PCE are all ticking back up. A December rate hike is basically a sure thing. $BTC $ETH is still languishing near the lows. Let’s see what happens after this AI accounting storm passes.
NFA DYOR
#比特币 #AI #美股财报 #美联储 #Cryptocurrency
A JPMorgan analyst gave the earnings report a name: “This stock has been frozen in Carbonite”—a nod to Han Solo being carbon-frozen in Star Wars. How bad was it? Search query volume hit a five-year high, yet revenue still missed expectations. AI has tanked the pricing of its own search ads—it’s disrupting itself. Shares fell 13% after hours, wiping out $500 billion in a quarter.
Even funnier, the CEO rushed out Gemini 4 Carbon during the trading day. This wasn’t a tech launch; it was CPR for the stock price.
Meanwhile, Microsoft beat across the board, Azure grew 48%, and shares rose after hours. Then it turned around and issued 10 tranches of dollar-denominated bonds— even the star student has to hit up the debt market to fund AI. That gives you an idea of just how powerful the money shredder is.
PCE came in at 3.6%, and CPI/PPI/PCE are all ticking back up. A December rate hike is basically a sure thing. $BTC $ETH is still languishing near the lows. Let’s see what happens after this AI accounting storm passes.
NFA DYOR
#比特币 #AI #美股财报 #美联储 #Cryptocurrency