My partner asked why I was so happy staring at my phone. I said, “$Q 5 is up 2.56%.”
They asked, “So how much did you make?”
Me: “I didn’t buy any. I’m just watching—the whole point is to hold it spiritually.”
Current price: 0.0522. Sum up how you’re feeling right now with one emoji in the comments.

For reference only, not financial advice.