**The Man of Steel (Pending Withdrawal)**
At 3 a.m., Dennis checked his crypto wallet and screamed so loudly the neighbor's dog joined in. SafeMoonTurnip Coin was up 4,000%, making him officially worth $1,847,203. He put on his Halloween Superman top and struck a power pose in the mirror. His pants were in the wash, so he knotted a lungi around his waist. Details.
By 8 a.m., he was ready to cash out. The exchange explained there was a $90 gas fee to withdraw, and that the coin's entire trading community was one other guy named Todd, who was also not selling. Dennis checked his bank account: $4.12. Exactly as broke as advertised.
Still glowing, he strolled into the corner store for a $6 sandwich. "I'm technically a millionaire," he told the cashier.
"Sir, you're technically also not wearing pants."
He settled for a half-sandwich ($3.50) and ate it on the curb: Superman from the waist up, a lungi and 62 cents from the waist down. By sunset, Todd finally sold and the coin went to zero.
Superman had kryptonite. Dennis had gas fees and Todd.
At 3 a.m., Dennis checked his crypto wallet and screamed so loudly the neighbor's dog joined in. SafeMoonTurnip Coin was up 4,000%, making him officially worth $1,847,203. He put on his Halloween Superman top and struck a power pose in the mirror. His pants were in the wash, so he knotted a lungi around his waist. Details.
By 8 a.m., he was ready to cash out. The exchange explained there was a $90 gas fee to withdraw, and that the coin's entire trading community was one other guy named Todd, who was also not selling. Dennis checked his bank account: $4.12. Exactly as broke as advertised.
Still glowing, he strolled into the corner store for a $6 sandwich. "I'm technically a millionaire," he told the cashier.
"Sir, you're technically also not wearing pants."
He settled for a half-sandwich ($3.50) and ate it on the curb: Superman from the waist up, a lungi and 62 cents from the waist down. By sunset, Todd finally sold and the coin went to zero.
Superman had kryptonite. Dennis had gas fees and Todd.