很多男人之所以一事无成，长期在底层原地打转，一辈子难以翻身，甚至被世俗规训得懦弱卑微。
根源从来不是能力不足，而是脑子里装满了各种各样有毒的执念。
这些执念日复一日地侵蚀你的认知、思想、格局、前途与未来。
让你越来越愚钝、越来越内耗、越来越丧失行动力，最终只能困在底层，反复挣扎。
今天我就给大家拆解最隐蔽、最害人、最难察觉的六大有毒执念。
只要你戒掉其中一个，人生的烦恼直接减半。
Get rid of two of them, and life instantly becomes lighter, clearer, and more at ease.
Get rid of three, and your life becomes completely free and carefree.
If you put down all six obsessions, you can be clear-minded and enter society easily—you can live freely in the world.
I’m not exaggerating at all.
Because the content is sharp enough to overturn people’s fixed perceptions of the masses, and it also punctures the disguises of many interest-based circles.
So I originally set this as internal paid content.
My VIP community partners don’t need to pay—they can directly keep it and read it repeatedly.
Toxic obsession #1: Immersing in grand narratives and blindly generating a collective pride
I often remind everyone: If a news story can’t help you make money and can’t change your life, don’t watch it under any circumstances.
If you can’t understand it, can’t use it, and can’t turn it into value, you’ll always be the one being harvested by information.
News in the world roughly falls into two categories:
One category is purely negative-energy anxiety information,
One kind is those “big events of the era,” which look bright and grand.
but most ordinary people don’t know this—both of these kinds of content have nothing to do with your life.
Negative energy drains you from within, consuming your emotions and energy.
And those so-called major highlights: athletes winning gold, celebrities getting awards, rockets launching into space, city development, policy new zones…
After reading, many men inexplicably feel a fake sense of pride.
Here I have to be blunt and wake you up: If you have this mindset, it means your mental maturity is seriously lacking.
A truly mentally healthy adult will always focus only on themselves—attention, sense of achievement, and pride are always directed inward.
Other people’s brilliance, the grandness of the era, the glory of the collective,
A single cent can’t improve your life, and a little amount won’t help you jump up to a higher tier.
There are only two things in life truly worth being proud of:
your income steadily increases,
Your own family life is stable and happy.
besides that, everything is illusion.
Many people will rebut: I’m Chinese too. I’m proud for the collective, proud for the times—what’s wrong?
Let me tell you directly:
If you’re in the top-tier circles, you can enjoy this glory.
If you’re just an ordinary person at the bottom, paying too much attention to grand narratives will only waste your mind and time—eventually turning you into a crowd that’s brainwashed and harvested.
A person’s mental/spiritual energy is extremely limited—there’s simply no way to balance the bustling prosperity of external things with personal growth.
So I’ve always strictly forbidden my followers from getting addicted to scrolling news and chasing trending topics.
First: wasting time, attention, and emotions.
Second: 99% of news in the market is just decorated smoke bombs and tricks of misdirection.
Looking back, those opportunities, policies, and trending topics that were once heavily praised,
Once most ordinary people follow the trend and believe it, in the end they’ll only waste their years and miss good opportunities.
In this respect, women are far more clear-minded than men.
They don’t get stuck on politics, they’re not obsessed with international affairs, and they’re not moved by empty grand narratives.
They only care about survival, reality, and money.
Because they clearly know: the only thing that can change your quality of life is real money—everything else is just talk.
Toxic obsession #2: An overly heavy narrow-minded obsession with nationality and bloodline
Many men at the bottom find dating and marriage extremely difficult, and they may never get married for life,
One of the core reasons is being trapped by a hollow national obsession and an obsession with bloodline.
I’ve always shared the most realistic ways for people at the bottom to break through deadlocks:
If you can’t buy a house or a car for the moment, and you can’t handle a high bride price,
You don’t have to get trapped in a single dating and marriage track.
and you can broaden your horizons and broaden your options.
In border regions and minority areas within China, many girls don’t care about houses or cars when choosing a partner; they don’t put too much weight on bride price.
Girls in Korea, Japan, and Southeast Asia have a higher tolerance level when choosing a partner. They value character and steadiness even more.
The bar is far lower than in the over-crowded dating and marriage market within the country.
Especially across Southeast Asia—girls there are gentle and dependable, and they have a very high level of goodwill toward people from China.
Many men fall because of a sick obsession with lineage. They stubbornly believe that bloodline must be “pure,” and that choosing a partner must be limited to their existing circle.
with extremely narrow cognition.
anyone who slightly understands history and basic genetics knows:
A thousand years of migrations and fusion of tribes—there is basically no such thing as absolutely pure bloodline. Everyone is the result of diverse blending.
In this respect, women’s perspective is far beyond most men.
When they choose a partner, they only look at strength—real capability—and whether that person can provide a stable life for themselves.
Race, skin color, and background have never been the core criteria.
If you want to break out of your circle and broaden your choices in dating and marriage, the method is always greater than obsession.
Don’t pin your hopes on intermediaries introducing you to matches—most likely you’ll end up getting harvested of money and even of both money and family resources (all for nothing).
The best way: go out yourself, experience it yourself, and treat each other sincerely.
Learn language, broaden your horizons, and you’ll find that life choices are far richer than you ever imagined.
A man’s golden window for dating and choosing a partner—his peak of energy—lasts only about twenty years.
Clinging stubbornly to obsession only lets you bury your golden years with your own hands.
Toxic obsession #3: Overly clinging to long-term possession—without knowing how to experience life
For a man who wants to live freely and clearly,
You must get rid of the obsession of lifelong possession;
Build a life mindset centered on experience and enjoying the process.
Everything in the world—watches, phones, cars, real estate, connections, emotions, fate,
After all, it’s only temporary companionship.
Having them stay by your side for a few years—just accompanying you for a stretch—that’s already the best gift.
whether you can possess each other for life and whether the relationship will last forever is never something controlled by an individual—it only depends on fate and circumstances.
The deeper the obsession, the heavier the pain.
With a clear, open mindset, everything can be put to use for you. The world is simply your playground.
Too many men live exhausted and in pain because the obsession is too heavy:
Buy a car and you’ll drive it for life; buy a house and you’ll live in it for life; know people and you’ll end up entangled with them for life.
but the world is never constant.
Cars will age, houses will depreciate, circumstances will change, and hearts will shift.
Once things no longer fit your life, once fate has already come to an end,
And yet you still cling on, refuse to let go, and forcibly bind things together—that’s self-torture.
When fate runs out, the best choice is to let go.
Let others go—then you’re also letting yourself go. Only then can both sides start a new chapter in life.
Most wedding vows in the world look romantic and solemn, but in reality they’re false and empty.
They promise with their mouths to stay together for life, rich and poor never apart;
But the reality is: without a house, a car, or a hefty bride price, you don’t even get a chance to start.
Half of marriages can’t last beyond ten years.
The future society will certainly become more mature, clearer, and more transparent:
If it’s a good fit, live together and spend your days side by side. If not, part ways in a dignified manner and wish each other well.
Less binding obsession, more calmness and ease in everyday life.
Toxic obsession #4: Obsessing that “success” must be defined by the worldly world
I’ve always believed: True success is living out your entire life in the way you like.
To judge whether someone has achieved spiritual abundance and hidden financial freedom, there’s one most precise standard:
If your assets suddenly multiply by ten,
Will your lifestyle, spending habits, and daily state truly change completely?
If your net worth skyrockets tenfold,
So you still live in the same house, drive the same car, and keep the same eating and dressing habits,
It doesn’t change your true heart just because you’re agitated by wealth, and it doesn’t change your life just because you’ve gotten rich suddenly,
That means: you’ve already achieved real freedom.
Many people live poor for a lifetime, trapped and stuck for a lifetime,
The root cause is deeply ingrained “poor people’s thinking.”
make you feel like having money means you must squander it, must be luxurious, and must pursue extreme pleasure.
When you’re poor, you settle with resentment and wait for a sudden fortune so you can indulge without restraint afterward,
With this kind of mindset, you’ll never be able to keep wealth, and you’ll never be able to advance.
A truly clear-minded person eats lightly, keeps a regular schedule, and dresses simply;
wealth is for securing the bottom line, for advancing to the next stage, and for building strength—not for showing off and squandering it.
I never obsess over luxury goods. I’m not addicted to food and pleasure. I don’t chase empty fame and glamor.
To me, all external things are without obsession.
The happiness I’ve chosen is simple: passive daily income that can cover everyday expenses.
Just this alone already puts you ahead of most people in the world.
Many people mistakenly think I’m laid-back and “佛系” (nonchalant), not striving or making progress.
But it’s exactly the opposite: my desires are extremely strong, and my drive to take action is extremely strong.
It’s just that my desires are all focused on growth, making money, cultivating the mind, and upgrading my life,
I’ve never waste time on low-level pleasures or worldly vanity.
Compared with the dream of a huge city mansion that’s vague and far-fetched,
stable freedom—enough to cover daily income and expenses—that’s the most grounded and happiest pursuit for ordinary people.
Toxic obsession #5: Having too heavy a fixation on absolute sincerity
The obsession that torments people the most is demanding 100% sincerity.
In the world of adults, there’s no absolute purity—no heartfelt feelings that are completely devoid of self-interest.
Many people are naïve enough to think parents’ love is absolutely selfless, and family affection is absolutely pure.
But once you’ve seen enough of human情 (the warmth and coldness of social life), you’ll understand:
some family affection, friendships, and love—there are always trade-offs, calculations, and conditions.
People who aren’t strong enough inside are always craving absolute sincerity—craving total unreservedness.
The deeper the obsession, the heavier the disappointment, and the more pain you’ll feel.
The more independent and clear-headed an adult is, the less they demand “true sincerity.”
Strangers, relatives and friends, partners, even your closest loved ones,
Human nature is complicated. Everyone has selfish motives, everyone disguises themselves, and everyone performs.
You insist on using absolute purity as the standard to demand that everyone else,
In the end, all you’ll feel is that everything is cold—no one truly cares about you from the heart.
Lower your expectations of “true sincerity,” and you’ll find tenderness everywhere in this world.
I’ve done content for years and already see through the essence of human nature.
I’ve never been addicted to fake praise or empty recognition.
I only recognize acknowledgment backed by real money.
Willing to pay, willing to support, willing to follow—that’s the most real sincerity.
All the other verbal praise and social courtesy are just emptiness.
I’m also never afraid of negative evaluations, and I’m never stuck on others’ slander.
A thousand faces, a thousand preferences; it’s hard to please everyone. This leads to the last deadly obsession.
Toxic obsession #6: The obsession of always wanting to make everyone happy
I’ve emphasized this again and again:
As long as you haven’t broken through your social class yet, haven’t stabilized your career yet, and you’re still climbing your way up from the bottom,
Your first priority in life is always just one thing: make money, build a career, break through the deadlock, and be reborn.
Besides that, all the face, human情, pleasing, and catering are nothing but inner draining.
Many men at the bottom live extremely stifled and suffocated,
It means spending your whole life flattering others, making things easy for them, and pleasing everyone—except yourself, who always gets shortchanged.
If your income is average, your career hasn’t succeeded, and your energy is limited,
Yet you’re still constrained by human sentiment and pride, draining your money, energy, and time everywhere.
After years of no contact, relatives and friends’ weddings, funerals, births, and such—forcing yourself to attend, brace yourself to give gifts just to save face;
Returning home for the Lunar New Year to puff up your face and stuff your pockets, carelessly spending money to curry favor with the younger relatives and flatter relatives;
Wasting all of one’s limited life energy on useless human情 (social niceties and politicking).
Here’s one most clear-eyed truth:
To please everyone brings no happiness; to please everyone, you yourself will be exhausted.
Two things are inherently in opposition and can never both be fully satisfied.
while mentally mature people always put themselves first—nourish themselves, enrich themselves.
I have always stuck to this principle.
which is why my energy keeps getting stronger, my cognition keeps getting clearer, my income keeps getting more stable, and my life state keeps becoming more open and at ease.
Other people’s grievances, other people’s emotions, other people’s dissatisfaction,
Those are other people’s life problems. They have nothing to do with me.
Many weak men spend their whole lives under other people’s gaze:
Trying every way to make everyone happy, while you alone carry all the grievances and inner draining.
In the end, you only end up with a withering, self-consuming spiral, exhausted in both mind and body,
But the people around you are full of vitality and live however freely they want.
Because your life energy is completely consumed and drained by others.
When I create content and output, I’ve never had the obsession of “wanting everyone to be satisfied.”
In the comments, some support you, some doubt you, and some slander you,
Balance on both sides—that’s the best state.
Those who are dissatisfied with you aren’t necessarily against you—they just have different perceptions, different interests, and different social circles.
No need to explain. No need to please. No need to accommodate and yield.
I gain traffic, I gain growth, and I gain value,
That is the biggest winner.
Get rid of these six major toxic obsessions,
Let go of fantasies, let go of inner self-consuming spirals, let go of binding obsession, let go of trying to please,
Only then can you truly live clearly, live freely, and become yourself.
