“At fifteen, I set my heart on learning; at thirty, I stood firm; at forty, I came to have no doubts; at fifty, I understood the will of Heaven; at sixty, my ears were attuned; at seventy, I followed what my heart desired without overstepping the bounds.” — Confucius (from The Analects, Book 2: For Government)

"This lifetime has at least five certainties we can never change no matter how hard we struggle."

The first is talent. Some things are carried in from the womb. Like how monkeys are born knowing how to climb, and fish are born knowing how to swim. The cards you don’t have at birth—no matter how much you work at it afterward—will be very difficult to catch up to the people who already have talent in hand.

Einstein once said that everyone has their own gift. If you judge a fish by whether it can climb a tree, it will spend its whole life feeling stupid.

People are the same: the differences between each other are always real. If you can’t figure it out and insist on comparing your shortcoming with someone else’s strengths, the one who suffers is only yourself.

Better to accept this fact: if this road won’t work, I’ll take another. If you can’t see things from this angle, maybe changing the angle will suddenly make everything clear.

The second is karmic causes and conditions. As the saying goes, three lives are destined by fate: whom you meet, whom you walk with, whom you part from—seems like it’s your choice, but in truth there’s already been an arrangement in the distant, mysterious depths.

Who you are determines what kind of people you’ll meet. So there’s no need to force a princess to match a prince, and there’s no need to resent that you met the wrong person. All encounters in this world are long-lost reunions.

Maybe on a business trip road, maybe on an evening stroll at dusk, maybe on a sudden trip that you just decided to take, or maybe in a perfectly ordinary meal gathering. The destined person just happens to show up at that destined moment. This isn’t coincidence—fate wrote the answer long ago.

The third is children. Children are debts: there are those who come to collect, and those who come to repay. No debts, no arrival. What kind of children you’ll have, where they will go in the future—none of it can be forced.

Some children are gentle and considerate; they come to repay your kindness. Some children worry you to pieces; they come to help you practice and cultivate yourself. Rather than hoping your son becomes a dragon, it’s better to set an example with your own actions. You practice your virtue, and they cultivate their path—each complete in their own way.

The fourth is fortune. Some people toil day and night and can only make ends meet. Some people are calm and light, yet somehow gain wealth and honor. And some—every time they finally earn a big sum of money, they inexplicably turn around and suffer a sudden disaster. In the end, it’s not that one person is worse than another; it’s that everyone’s fate is different. Everyone carries their own portion of fortune—more or less—can’t be forced.

The fifth is life and death. Nobody can predict it. Some people live carefully, attending to health in every detail, yet they leave early. Some are carefree—never without cigarettes, alcohol, and such—yet they live into their eighties or nineties. Some rarely catch colds, and their body looks strong, but suddenly they’re gone. Some people are like medicine jars: today their breath feels short, tomorrow their chest feels dull and tight—but they keep living just fine.

As the old saying goes, you can’t easily get a life span that’s a yard long when fate only gives you a foot. So in this lifetime, with marriage, wealth, children, and longevity—ordinary people can be fortunate enough to have one or two. How could anyone possibly have both blessings and long life in full measure?

When prosperity comes, wealth doesn’t; when wealth comes, people don’t. When both people and wealth are thriving, life won’t last long. When you live in this world, you’re actually quite small. Our understanding of the vast universe is only 5%—too many things we can’t see through or change. What we can do is accept them calmly: no obsession, no forcing, and no head-on clashes with fate.

We’ll accept both the good and the bad, but this absolutely isn’t asking you to lie flat! Because living in this world, knowing your fate isn’t submitting to it—it’s recognizing the boundaries.

Do everything you can change to the utmost. For what you can’t change, leave it to Heaven’s way. Only then can you live out possibilities within what’s destined, and accomplish the infinite within the limited.

That is the best life. The fixed truths of this world are hidden in everyday sparks and domestic fires. Yet people’s confusion always has to find somewhere to rest.

You’ll come to understand: accept what in your life cannot be changed, and keep hold of what you can truly take charge of.

See yourself in someone else’s story, learn to make peace with fate through a handshake. Know your fate, but don’t be trapped by it." — Mai Jia