A financial error I will never forget.
In January 2024, I had to pay my university enrollment.
The problem?
The money meant for my studies was already in someone else’s hands.
A few months earlier, a former friend had told me he needed money urgently. He promised me he would quickly pay me back.
I took pity on him.
So I took part of the money from my scholarship and lent it to him.
In my mind, it was just temporary help.
I thought I would get my money back a few days or a few weeks later.
I was wrong.
January arrived... and the money was still not there.
The university was starting to close enrollment. To continue my studies, I absolutely had to pay.
But I no longer had the money I needed.
And I couldn’t even tell my parents:
“I loaned my enrollment money to someone and they didn’t return it.”
I was stressed.
I was crying alone and looking for a solution.
In the end, I wrote to the administrator of a prayer group where I had been added almost by chance.
I explained my situation to him.
I had to pay my enrollment, but I didn’t know how to come up with the amount and I didn’t want my parents to find out.
This person, whom I barely even knew, agreed to help me with part of the amount.
I also asked for small loans from a few friends to make up the difference.
Thanks to all those people, I finally managed to pay my enrollment.
But the money I had loaned to my former friend?
I never got it back.
This experience taught me an important lesson about money.
At the time, I thought that being generous meant being able to give when someone needed me.
But I realized something:
You should not help someone with the money you need to secure your own future.
If your money is for paying:
your studies; your housing; your food; your healthcare; your transportation; or another essential expense,
then that money already has a mission.
Just because it’s temporarily in your hands doesn’t mean it’s truly “available.”
Today, I still ask myself two questions before helping someone:
1. Can I really afford to lose this amount?
2. If this person never repays me, will my financial situation stay stable?
If the answer is no, then I’d rather not lend.
That’s not selfishness.
It’s a matter of financial responsibility.
A lesson I want to pass on to young people
When you start to earn or receive money, it’s easy to want to show that you’re generous.
But learning to manage your money is also learning to say no.
You can love people.
You may want to help them.
You can have compassion.
But you also have to protect your own goals.
Don’t sacrifice your enrollment to help someone.
Don’t put your rent in danger to save someone else.
Don’t empty your savings just because you’re afraid of seeming selfish.
Helping others is a wonderful thing.
But being able to keep moving forward after helping someone is even more important.
This experience cost me money.
But she taught me a rule that I still keep today:
Before you rescue someone financially, make sure you’re not the one sinking yourself.
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