I always feel uneasy, like the market is going to crash hard next. I’ve been losing for almost a year, holding my positions all this time. Along the way, I had some liquidation trades and some small profitable ones. I’ve always traded with small amounts, though there were times I got carried away. My liquidations were only a few hundred U, and my profits were only a few dozen U. Slowly, after holding on for a year, I’ve made it back. I’ve just gotten back to breakeven, and I want to close all my positions, afraid that if it dumps hard next, I’ll lose everything again. I want to clear out and then look for another chance to enter, but I’m also afraid of missing the next rise. I’ve really been torn for days. That’s human nature. I don’t really have any trading strategy, and I don’t have much courage either. I’m just a small-time nobody slowly learning through trial and error. I dream of getting rich fast, but I’ve only ever thought about making 1 million yuan; I never even imagined tens of millions. After being in the crypto world for a year or two, I’ve been reflecting on myself more and more, and I’ve realized that someone like me can never get rich. I don’t have the guts to go all in when opportunities come, and when it comes to risk, I usually just stubbornly hold on. The reason I can hold on is that before buying, I already considered the worst-case risk, and the amount I could be liquidated for is something I can afford. Once I truly understood my personality, I knew I could only ever be nourishment for the crypto market. But there is a good side too: I’ve learned about perpetual contracts, learned about human nature, and learned about an industry and related knowledge I had never touched before. Even if these few thousand U I have end up gone in the end, I can accept it as tuition and a lesson. In fact, many times I realize I wasn’t even thinking about making money; I was using contract trading to test some of my ideas and logic. In the process, I kept doubting and wavering in all kinds of ways, and in the end everything became clear. It really is true that what is learned from books is always shallow until one practices it oneself. $BTC $AAVE