It’s hard to unite knowledge and action. Asking for money—out loud—always feels shameful. And I’m proud of myself, so why does “someone who seems excellent in other people’s eyes” end up like this now? But I know I have to speak up—this is a process. I’ve already been luckier than many others. For others it’s the hard mode; for me, this is already the easy mode. Everything I’m going through will become valuable wealth on my life path.
Knowing and doing are definitely two different things. To avoid my mindset getting thrown off balance, I chose to make one request to one person at a time. The moment I hit send, my emotions inevitably fluctuated: How will they view me? Will they lend me the money? Will it change how I see them? Will asking for a loan make it awkward for them to refuse?
At the moment I typed, my cousin—who had just been the one I spoke to—replied. The money is needed to get through a cash-flow crunch; the first attempt failed. I don’t know whether it was within expectations or beyond them—there’s an indescribable feeling.
Knowing and doing are definitely two different things. To avoid my mindset getting thrown off balance, I chose to make one request to one person at a time. The moment I hit send, my emotions inevitably fluctuated: How will they view me? Will they lend me the money? Will it change how I see them? Will asking for a loan make it awkward for them to refuse?
At the moment I typed, my cousin—who had just been the one I spoke to—replied. The money is needed to get through a cash-flow crunch; the first attempt failed. I don’t know whether it was within expectations or beyond them—there’s an indescribable feeling.