Thinking back, when I joined in 24, I didn’t even understand leverage at all. The contracts were all taught to me step by step through screen recordings by other people. It was just like that elderly woman—I couldn’t even figure out where to open it, and I didn’t dare to click around randomly. I was just scared and not very sharp. I was afraid that if I clicked wrongly, the money would disappear on me. After they taught me, I followed them for a few days and made 1,000 dollars. That 1,000 dollars was 7,000 RMB—money I earned in just over a week. I just followed along while they tapped the account. When it was time to close the position, the other person would call me, and once I clicked to close, the money would come in. Was it really that easy? Just move your fingers casually and you get money. From then on, I was hooked.
After that, I never stopped trading contracts. If they didn’t take me along, I wouldn’t be willing to lose such an opportunity to make money. I almost everywhere tried to find someone to guide me, calling them “bro” and “dad,” constantly. I couldn’t play on my own, but I never wanted to miss the time to make money. If I delayed by a day, I’d earn less money. I’m obsessed with money—how could I tolerate this? Every day I was frantically searching for masters, but my luck only lasted for just over a week. Throughout all of 24, I lost 170,000.
It was all because I kept looking for masters and I still couldn’t play on my own—I relied entirely on other people’s guidance.
I went to learn on my own in the late part of 24. At the time, I was constantly getting liquidated due to how bad my luck was. Then I started studying myself. 25–26 was the period where I taught myself and tried to figure out my own strategies. I lost money during this time too, but I had no choice. In my end-of-year summary for 25, I encouraged myself: I’d already learned how to open positions on my own, how to build my own sense of the market, and how to learn adding to positions and hedging with a Martingale strategy.
In 26, the BTC short positions I had played against from 24 finally broke even. But in June, I didn’t hedge with the hedge trades—I couldn’t hold on and I lost 40,000 dollars. Then I continued to open new positions again. And these days, I ended up double-losing again. I often think about why my path is so slow. Others can learn within a month when they come in, but I took two years. I was even still exploring. Maybe I needed to spend even longer learning, to turn things around and become profitable.
I don’t know whether choosing to play this from the beginning was wrong. But I like making bets on things I can’t get. Like, if I were willing to stay unmarried and childless for life and play this, I’d be fine—except playing it often means having no money in hand. If I had children and a family, I wouldn’t be able to play anymore. Then I’d just choose not to have them—I want to play this. Maybe in the end, I’ll be able to come to terms with it and won’t regret it.
After that, I never stopped trading contracts. If they didn’t take me along, I wouldn’t be willing to lose such an opportunity to make money. I almost everywhere tried to find someone to guide me, calling them “bro” and “dad,” constantly. I couldn’t play on my own, but I never wanted to miss the time to make money. If I delayed by a day, I’d earn less money. I’m obsessed with money—how could I tolerate this? Every day I was frantically searching for masters, but my luck only lasted for just over a week. Throughout all of 24, I lost 170,000.
It was all because I kept looking for masters and I still couldn’t play on my own—I relied entirely on other people’s guidance.
I went to learn on my own in the late part of 24. At the time, I was constantly getting liquidated due to how bad my luck was. Then I started studying myself. 25–26 was the period where I taught myself and tried to figure out my own strategies. I lost money during this time too, but I had no choice. In my end-of-year summary for 25, I encouraged myself: I’d already learned how to open positions on my own, how to build my own sense of the market, and how to learn adding to positions and hedging with a Martingale strategy.
In 26, the BTC short positions I had played against from 24 finally broke even. But in June, I didn’t hedge with the hedge trades—I couldn’t hold on and I lost 40,000 dollars. Then I continued to open new positions again. And these days, I ended up double-losing again. I often think about why my path is so slow. Others can learn within a month when they come in, but I took two years. I was even still exploring. Maybe I needed to spend even longer learning, to turn things around and become profitable.
I don’t know whether choosing to play this from the beginning was wrong. But I like making bets on things I can’t get. Like, if I were willing to stay unmarried and childless for life and play this, I’d be fine—except playing it often means having no money in hand. If I had children and a family, I wouldn’t be able to play anymore. Then I’d just choose not to have them—I want to play this. Maybe in the end, I’ll be able to come to terms with it and won’t regret it.