There was a question online from a woman that touched the deepest place in a man’s soul. She said, “Ask all men on earth one question—no lying allowed. If that woman you once loved but couldn’t have got divorced, and you also happen to be single, would you still be willing to marry her?”

Netizens flooded the screen:

1. An apple grows at the top of the tree. You try with all your might but still can’t pick it. Later, someone else casually picked it, took a bite and found it wasn’t good, then threw it on the ground and stomped on it a few times. Would you still pick it up and eat it?

2. Borrowing a line from 梁家辉: Back then, you and I were both eighteen—you turned me down. Now I’m thirty-eight; I haven’t changed. I still like you at eighteen, but you’re also thirty-eight now. I’m sorry.

3. Let’s get real. I’ve been married for more than ten years. Recently, my first love—who moved far away after marriage—sent me a message out of the blue. She said she returned alone to the city where we once first met and fell in love. She found a job there and invited me to have dinner together when I’m free. I only asked a few polite questions and didn’t bother her further, and I definitely wouldn’t go on the date. What I like is the her from back then—the part of memory I’ve treasured in my heart. If we truly met face to face, all the beautiful things would shatter.

4. Good horses don’t eat the grass they’ve already passed. Let alone people.

5. Back then, you saw a pair of shoes you liked, but you didn’t have enough money to buy them. Later someone else bought them, wore them until they were ruined, and the shoes were still filthy. They were thrown out in the wild. Would you go pick them back up to wear again?

【Personal opinion】

I believe these harsh, plainly metaphor-based comments are all the real thoughts hidden deep in the hearts of netizens.

What a man misses is the woman from back then—not the one now. Back then, his heart skipped because of her age, that time, and that pure kind of liking. Now people change, experiences change, and even values change. Long ago, they’re not the same person anymore.

If you weren’t together back then, it’s either because the timing wasn’t right, or because your personalities didn’t match, or because she never chose him in the first place. These problems won’t disappear automatically just because she got divorced or he’s single. If you force yourselves together, the old conflicts will only flare up again.

No one wants to be a substitute, a backup option, or a healing tool in someone else’s romantic life. Marriage is meant to be a mutual journey toward each other—careful choices, not to make up for past regrets, and certainly not to take advantage of someone in a vulnerable moment.

When she wasn’t obtained, she was perfect. But once you truly live together, the grind of daily life, shortcomings, and contradictions all come to light. Rather than ruin the last bit of beauty in your heart, it’s better to keep some distance—each going their own way, all well.

Back then, he couldn’t reach it—so there’s no need to bend down now to pick it up. Good relationships are equal, dignified, and cherish each other; they’re not, “Someone didn’t want me, so I’ll be the rebound.” He deserves a brand-new, upright, honorable relationship—not an expired regret.

When you love but can’t get together, it’s inherently a regret that never got finished. The most beautiful version only stays in the past. Time passes and circumstances change; you both are no longer the people you were back then. Trying to force a match not only doesn’t respect the present versions of each other—it also tramples the feelings that once made your heart race.

Just send your distant blessings. No need to turn memories into a way of life.

What he misses is youth, not this person. What he wants is happiness, not a dream realized.