In 2025–2026, besides underwear being refined in fire, the one suffering the most was none other than “grassroots” Bitcoin.

Before even a month had passed on the 126,000 monthly salary for the “Equerries Horse”—the role of the attendant in heaven—he was, muddle-headedly and without realizing it, absorbed into the system by an epic drama of retrieving the scriptures.

Turns out that deep in the chaotic “Flower-Fruit Mountain” of the internet, a spirit monkey was born, named “Bitcoin.” It once roamed through the forests of the dark web, beating demons and monsters from all quarters until they cried out in agony. With bone-deep pride, it never placed traditional royal authority in its eyes.

When it heard that in the Western Heaven there was a “stability-maintenance scripture” waiting to be taken, and that this scripture was the key to maintaining the old order of the heavenly court, the Trump Buddha was, of course, contemptuous while looking for the core team to retrieve the scripture with huge sums of money.

This unruly stone monkey once received enlightenment from the original ancestor Satoshi Nakamoto. It has long transcended the mundane—how could it possibly be tempted?

Unfortunately, Trump the Old Lord’s script is already written: “grassroots” Bitcoin not only volunteers out of its own initiative, but also wants to secure a respectable origin—and to wash away its “wildness” on this escorting journey, exchanging it for the supreme justification of the country’s strategic reserves.

The taming steps arranged by the Lord Buddha are divided into three phases:

First step: the initial refinement of the tight circlet—from “bandit” to “heavenly official”

Trump the Buddha sat enthroned in Wall Street’s golden hall. Seeing that this灵猴—though it has methods that can reach heaven—was still hard to tame, he devised a plan.

At the beginning of 2024, the SEC’s approval gate opened—like that “letter of pacification”—granting Bitcoin the honorary title of a “Great Sage ETF.” The gods of Wall Street (BlackRock, etc.) offer it offerings of real gold and silver. From then on, this monkey is no longer a bumpkin of the mountains and fields, but a respectable blue-chip noble.

Retail investors cheer with joy, believing this is a victory for freedom—yet they do not see that the tight circlet has been quietly forged in secret.

More celestial officials are still watching this monster with cold eyes. The EU is busy codifying and carving out regulations, like the Heavenly Court’s harsh precepts; while the Eastern camp stands guard with a tight grip, fearing that this monkey’s piercing “fire eyes and golden pupils” will burn down its own dragon palace.

Little did they know that the Heavenly Court, using the trick of “boiling a frog in warm water,” has already locked the computing power that originally belonged to the whole world, firmly under the flag of the stars and stripes—through regulatory shackles.

Second step: the contest for digital territory—Buddha’s “needle that steadies the sea”

In March 2025, Trump the Buddha wrote his signature on the (Strategic Reserve Order). Grassroots Bitcoin was not only reshaped into more than a monkey—it was also molded into a “digital needle that steadies the sea,” supporting U.S. dollar hegemony.

Amid the rumors of global de-dollarization, Trump the Buddha knows this well: if he cannot eliminate this monkey, then he must make it the protector that guards the Heavenly Court.

Tech believers like Musk wave flags and shout it up, praising it as “digital oxygen.” In reality, it draws it onto the strategic track of sending immigrants to Mars.

Like Sun Yihang’s kind of figures, they are like Bodhisattvas who foresee the workings of heaven’s will, looking across the void at this farce of asset transformations, sneering at the chill hidden in the foam of laughter. At this moment, the regulators in the lower realm finally realize: once Bitcoin is folded into the federal asset reserve, the balance has completely tilted.

The EU and other great Bodhisattvas like Dongda, once they finally see that this grassroots force cannot be eliminated, want a share in this grand chess game. They have already become outsiders on the “journey to retrieve the scriptures.”

Third step: the compliant official’s big hat—the “tight circlet” under the Great Sage’s name

The GENIUS Act championed by Trump the Buddha looks like a huge reward for the group sent to retrieve the scriptures, but in truth it puts the heaviest golden circlet on this monkey.

For the crypto world, certainty really nourishes like spring rain. Bitcoin has completely bid farewell to the murky “black market,” dancing gracefully in Wall Street’s algorithmic waltz. But this is also a kind of “sacrifice”: the once free soul of decentralization has been locked into regulatory shackles.

The Buddha holds the Thunder God’s mallet for cracking down on money laundering in one hand, and the peach from the mortal world of industry development in the other. He designates the “dollar stablecoin” as the leader of the team retrieving the scriptures. Although grassroots Bitcoin ranks among the immortals and is incredibly glorious, it must still willingly play the “supporting role.” Every time it jumps, it is controlled by the curse of the tight circlet.

Whenever it wants to break free from its restraints, the tight circlet on its head is tightened under the psionic power of the “dollar-stablecoin boss,” forcing it to bow and obey.

By 2026, the “journey to retrieve the scriptures” performance was finally laid bare: the so-called “Great Sage escorting to retrieve the scriptures” was nothing more than Trump the Buddha’s brilliant “taming technique.”

This is not just a rotation of financial assets, but a battle between two opposing camps.

The Western “Five Eyes” alliance is trying to keep exercising the U.S. dollar’s “dominance glow” in the digital currency era by controlling Bitcoin as a “digital chip.” And for the Eastern camp, if they continue to hesitate in this illusion, they may only watch the “stone monkey” that once belonged to the public be utterly transformed into a “Vajra Protector” that maintains the order of the Western heavens.

That day, when the Heavenly Court’s news institutions announced to the outside world, that “grassroots” Bitcoin has volunteered to join the mission—not only to find a proper origin, but also to borrow this escorting journey to wash away its “wildness” and obtain the supreme justification for the country’s strategic reserves. All the Bodhisattvas in every corner clasped their hands and praised Trump the Buddha’s boundless divine power. The EU and Dongda stamped their feet in regret—missed, missed. The little monkeys in the lower realm were at a loss; some were snatched away by demons, while the rest were handed over to the stock-market school of Master Jie’s direct teachings.

All that’s left is grassroots Bitcoin, whose salary has already been reduced to 60,000. It touches the golden circlet buried deep in its skull, forcing a laugh and silently shedding tears.

Back then, the original ancestor, Satoshi Nakamoto, was already gone; all that remained were a tightly locked wallet and weeds scattered everywhere.

It knows that the only thing allowed to ultimately cultivate into true fruition is the pre-arranged “leader,” the dollar stablecoin USDC.